my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
