Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
