Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
