I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
