she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Sober January is a disaster.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
