...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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