You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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