she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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