you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
