Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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