and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
