So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
