I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
