I wanna passion pit in your ass
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
