since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
