It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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