he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
