She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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