my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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