i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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