i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
