i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
