what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This is my gift to your gina
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
