hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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