I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
