he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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