I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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