nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
