her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
