At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
