Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
