Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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