Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
vagina is talking i cant
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
