come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
