he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
