So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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