You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
