I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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