Is it because I queefed?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Damn victory sex feels great
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
