wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
