Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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