hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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