I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
