Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
