I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
