I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
