I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
