Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
