ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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