I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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