My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
