so explain again why im purple
no
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Come on in and take your pants off
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