The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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